The Story Game

Right... What do 3 sickos do in a boring COFM visit to the illustrious Health Promotion Board? We play primary school games: THE STORY GAME. Sad thing is, 20 (and 22, some lau jiao so old still want to play... tsk tsk) years of life in this corrupt world is enough to pollute our formerly innocent minds.

We warily present the results of our half-hearted attempts at creativity on a sleepy Thursday afternoon. Please note these stories are only for our most DEDICATED and TWISTED readers. If you read this and cry out, “LAME” that’s because it probably is. So please, read only if you understand the detriment these anecdotes of TSB & Friends pose to your IQ.


Presenting the Wong Brothers:

Long before your time, in the Southern province of China, there lived the Wong brothers... Janus Wong, Leonard Wong, and JP Wong (certain names have been changed to protect their identities). Not forgetting the youngest brother, Wong Wenyang. Why mention Wenyang separately? Because he is the MAN! So... They are one happy family! =)

But they all had one thing in common; a deep, dark-seated secret too shameful to voice out. It’s about Janus Wong... Janus Wong had a weird habit: He scratches his butt 3 times daily. He has a compulsive tendency to do it, if he doesn’t, he will get pissed off and start to morph into a butterfly?!?!? And start dancing around in the room. I mean, nobody knows why, but we know he is weird! Kan... Not very weird right... The weird thing is, his butt must be scratched by his 3 brothers! So, once a day, each of the other brothers scratch his butt...

Then one day, the 3 brothers decided they didn’t want to be shameful anymore... They wanted to be shameless! So they set up a GS table and hatched a daring plan. The plan is to... Buy him an automatic scratcher! Oh my god! But we know Janus doesn’t like it plastic, he needs an ‘organic’ touch to his butt.

Anyway, over the hills and far away, Janus Wong comes out to play. Janus toast, Janus custard. Right...

Janus tried rubbing his butt on the soil! Organic enough? Alas... It wasn’t. He still desired the feel-good factor of his brothers’ nails on his ass. Soil just lacked the personal touch to it. So he decided to catch a rabbit, and forced the rabbit to scratch... But we all know THAT IT’S GETTING NOWHERE!

He tried many other methods to get his relief but to no avail. So one day, he decided to check some medical journals to find out about his condition. Lancet, BMJ, NEJM, and finally, in the Journal of Butt Scratching he found his cure! The earthworm is good at treating his disease.

So how is the earthworm good? It’s so slimy... Cannot scratch lah... But it still works! Because you don’t let the earthworm scratch you... You put it in the...

MOUTH! Lil’ Janus put the 蚯蚓 into his mouth, and suffered diarrhoea from the Salmonella typhi coated on the earthworm. Shit kept coming out so often, and his kar cheng hurt so bad, that he lost all desire to scratch.


The End. Right... You buggers who’ve read till here want to cheer that’s it’s over? I tell you nooooo... THERE’S MORE.


Presenting our Health Hypothesis:

It is said that females live longer than males. Their hair is longer than males too... Which leads us to the NYGH theory as to why women live longer than men: Early exposure in teenage boys’ years to the long armpit hair of NY girls caused their eyes to kena mak chiam. Mak chiam reminds me of MG! Well, it may remind some people of MG. We cannot escape the fact that exposure to armpit hair is both direct and indirect.

Directly, the hair is soooo long that it pokes and damages the retina. Yes, the retina. I’m not joking. I suppose when people look at girls bathing they kena mak chiam also is most probably due to long armpit hair attacking the retinas of the 色狼s...

Therefore, we have come up with a proposed SOP to LAGs (Long-haired Armpit Girls): If LAGs must insist on wearing sleeveless tops, it should be mandatory that they shave. The HPB has further advised the distribution of Gilette shavers to facilitate the shift from the contemplative phase to the action phase.

So where’s the money for Gilette shavers coming from? JP of course! =) Thanks JP! All the girls love JP... Right, right, he is sponsoring a Lancer Evo IX for the girl who shaves the armpit in the shortest time. But waxing and screaming loudly is strictly not allowed. Sia lah... Let’s put an earthworm into JP’s mouth!


The End. AND THANKFULLY SO. The last part was written by the two other BUGGERS who totally deviated from the NYGH Theory sniff... Money doesn’t grow on my hairs I keep telling you all! Terrible man, just terrible... Anyway, to sum it up, I thank those super hardcore fans who’ve read this far, I’m going to sleep.