Monday, November 28, 2005

(D - 1) 1240 - Slacking infront of the computer, oblivious that tomorrow is his exam typing away on his keyboard. Crap he produces, he might as well be doing this because when the exam finishes, he is finished too...

Thats the sad story for Leo. Well, D-Day is arriving man (death day) haha... Sianz la..What can I do man...nothing is going in now! Screw sia...All I can do is to grunt and snort haha...Grunt, Grunt, Snort, Snort...

Alright man...Many things to do after exams..time to run, swim and cycle! Woo...shit...I'm thinking of playing alr..haha

Anyway, a quick joke...Its a damm old joke and if I wonder if you buggers heard it before..anyway its regarding our dear old Lee Kwan Yew, Goh Chok Tong and Tony Tan.

When LKY was about the retire and hence needed to chose a successor to his PM appointment. He singled out two very outstanding individuals in his cabinet and needless to say, its Goh and Tan. Well, he contemplated day and night and also seeked the opinions of his close friends but still no good reason to convince himself who to chose. Then one day, he thought of a confucion teaching. Confucious say, 'When it comes to matters of the state, you need an effector'. BUT BUT, he remembered what Confusion said too, 'Never wait, move to succeed'. (thats crap)

So...why did Goh Chok Tong became prime minister because his surname is GOH, so he will say, 'GO, GO' and proceed with things at no haste. But Tony's surname is Tan, in hokkien, 'TAN TAN TAN'...ok..lame shit..if u feel ur abunene muscle pulling...I'm sorry... Hence, we got all the weird policies effected on us...maybe LKY's decision was wrong..at least GCT entertained me during the National Day Rally..so..I'll give him a chance..haha



(D+1) 1600 hrs - Ahh....his exam is over..and so is he...

Saturday, November 26, 2005

pardon me for not slping at this time on this kind of day..neither am i mugging or working towards a better CA grade..but as usual when im blogging here..its abt jokes!!..haha..hope u all feel abit happier and enlightened..

1) A 45 yr old guy had fell down and is suffering from bruises on his knees..who will he ask for help?..

a. superman
b. doraemon
c. ho ting fei

ans.=> b. cos only xiao ding dang can 伸出援手...not say ho ting fei is not nice lah..but she doesnt haf a 圆手 unlike xiao ding dang...:)



2) So after helping the guy xiao ding dang was walking on the street happily..then he met hello kitty..xiao ding dang said "hi!" to hello kitty but she din reply..why?...


cos she doesnt haf mouth to reply.....



3) So the hello kitty thot she was v impolite not to haf replied doraemon..so she went to incise a mouth in her..the nx day she met xiao ding dang on the street..then she said "hi!!" to xiao ding dang..why din he reply???..

of cus xiao ding dang is not small gas ghost(xiao qi gui aka petty person)...

n xiao ding dang is a v polite person..so why?

its becos xiao ding dang nv hear hello kitty..


cos he has no ears..



4) So hello kitty went to buy some 中药 lah..for dunno wad reason..then she sees this 药..she "wah this is the most beautiful 中药 ive ever seen"..wad is it?...

its abit lame..no v lame..but the 中药 is well known to everyone..

its ginseng..

in chinese its called 人参...


cos 美丽人生....


5) There's a gorilla in the zoo(sorry this one v direct cos i no brain to crap stories liao..)
which of the following does it resembles the most/..

a. doraemon
b. hello kitty
c. ginseng
d. dragon....


the ans is Dragon...haha..cos...欣欣向荣..........


ok tts it..jia you pple..good luck too..::)

cheers!
Wenyang =)

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Rated R21

Lol while talking cock during lunch today somehow the topic about weird fetishes started coming out..... well for you people who are still innocent(eh stop pretending lah haha), there are a lot people who have sexually fixations on the stuff that is like incredibly not even remotely related to sex....

For example....

Actirasty - Arousal from exposure to the suns rays

Albutophilia - Arousal from water.

Emetophilia - Arousal from vomit or vomiting.

Flatuphilia - Arousal from others passing gas

Erotographomania - Strong desire to write love letters or poetry.

Sthenolagnia - Arousal from a display of strength and/or the sight or muscles

Nasophilia - Sexually aroused by noses

Plushophilia - Sexually aroused by stuffed toys

Haha ok i think that's enuff deviant thoughts for a day........

Monday, November 21, 2005

Listening to a sappy Backstreet Boy tune on Class95...seriously, I think they should rename thier group as Backstreet Lads? Or Backstreet guys, backstreet man? Or just should they call themselves Backstreet Elders as Boys (BEAB) woops..

Right, the tune just made me forget what I want to blog about, sheesh...So..let me type some crap and let me try recall what I want to say... Oh, I bought a damm nice rare book last saturday. It looked 'oh so good' in that shrinked wrap plastic and my friend was like telling me that I should buy it cuz its damm hard to come by. But I knew deep down inside that something was wrong because I've never seen that book shrink wrap in any bookstore before(yes, I deliberated for 6 mths before buying it). Anyway, its a book by Winston Churchil called The Second World War, its an autobiography cum history book....yes, yes, I know what you buggers are thinking out there, must be saying that I can't get over my NS days, yes..so what? haha I just love all the military stuff. I'm a military buff man and you can't stop me.

I've been trying my best to get rid of my army crap, but please...I've been in NCC for 6 yrs and in the army for 2.5 yrs, that makes 8.5 yrs of miltary life and I just love the M16 and the dear tanks that I run next to.

Oh..talking bout tanks...hey..pls pls, when you buggers talk to me..pls attempt to talk louder or SHOUT! Cuz, sometimes I can't hear you and I gotta lip read you buggers to know what you ppl are talking about..and guess what..some of you buggers mumble..so..I can't make out anything at all! So..pls either u talk clearly and loudly or... exaggerate your lips haha...I have some hearing impairment thanks to demolitions and tanks..take pity on this old man...

Alright man..time to hit the books..I just pray that I won't fail my CAs..pls pls let me pass..I know buddha is damm busy now cuz everybody is like hugging his legs now..but hey..buddha..pls if cannot handle, pls write me a reference letter and refer me to zeus or Ra. Thanks man..if not..Tutankhamen would do too...thanks thanks...

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Things that (Chinese)parents always tell their kids(which don't always make sense.....)

1)If you dont finish your food properly every leftover grain of rice on the plate = 1 pimple on your future spouse...

2)When got cough cannot eat chicken or eggs

3)Chicken pox cannot eat black soya sauce

4)If got phelgm cannot eat citrus fruits

5)You should never double boil water

6)If you naughty some more i ask the abu nene/baboo singh come catch you....

7)When you piss outfield always apologise to the tree....

8)Don't point at the moon..

Haha ok thats all that i can think of right now.... if i can remember anymore i'll update the list again..... ok gotta get back into my cave liao....

Wonderwall

Alas, I have to start singing this song amidst my revision all because there is this wonderwall blocking me from proceeding. SH*T (pardon the censorship, it was deliberate) All the sutras that I have been chanting daily have not been absorbed into my brain and I keep forgetting them.

Must be the wrong tree that I am sitting at or could it because I am reading the wrong sutras. All you dickheads who finish reading your stuff...balls to u! haha...cause I haven't finish reading them man.

Ok..crap post, I wonder to myself why do I always call my posts crap, its crap anyway. Its just whether its good or bad. Well...you people having fun after exams...behold, because you never know whats gonna happen to you anytime soon HAHA...Woops...

Quote from my friend, I think its good, I wonder if all the women agree to it.

Confucius Say: Women's 4 best animals: Mink in Closet, Jaguar in Garage, Tiger in Bed, Ass to pay for it all!

Gd Day! (or bad day...)

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Top 10 Signs you've been studying too much.....

10)You jog past a BBQ pit and smell the aroma of chicken wings and you think "mmmmm......Cephalic phase...."

9)Everytime you take a dump you start thinking about the defacation reflex...

8)A chiobu jogs past you and you think "wow her gastrocnemius are so well defined...."

7)Whenever you get muscle ache you instinctively start thinking what muscle it is..

6)You see someone having flu and you start thinking "chloride channels....."

5)You look at the ingredients on a food label and you start thinking about metabolism...

4)When people try to "scare tactic" you they end up scaring themselves..

3)You know the 1st name of all the authors of the textbooks....

2)You know where all the funny bits in the textbooks are..

1)You actually know what the gubernaculum is...


When I counted up my demons,
Saw there was one for everyday.
With the good ones on my shoulder,
I drove the other ones away

So if you ever feel neglected,

And if you think all is lost,
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,
Hoping everything's not lost.

Coldplay - Everything's Not Lost

Monday, November 14, 2005

Top Ten Hits

For over the past 3 plus years, my music preference have changed drastically! Well, when I got enlisted on 13 Dec 2002 Friday, and walking down the road toward my company, I knew that my life would changed forever when my platoon and I chanted 'left, right, left right...' all the way till our company line. From then onwards, I left the world of pop, rock, alternative, etc. Well, its not that I left it, just add Military or Army infront of all the musical genres that I have just mentioned. So...these are the top hits when I entered army, some of you army buggers might beg to differ, but well...I guess, you might have heard of those listed below:

1. Left Toe, Right Toe!
2. Airborne (Down by the river)
3. C130
4. I don't want an army life!
5. Purple Light
6. On the _ side of Singapore, there is a place where I belong
7. P.I.N.K.Y
8. They say that in the army
9. When the cold wind blows
10. Training to be soldiers (Classic la...u forget this..you are not a soldier la..)
11. Yellow ribbon
12. They say that in the army
13. Johnny
14. Infantry Song
15. OCS SONG!

Well, of course, these are not longer my top hits! Well, but these crap that we sung during our army days just makes me feel nostalgic. The days where you cheong sua with your brudders in arms! Haha...And of course the weird things we do during our free time!

Right...My top hits now definately is:

1. Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word!
2. Baby, when the lights go out(woops!!)
3. God must have spent a little more time on you (thats why he screwed it up)
4. Collide (Well, now you know why Xy is so far away from Bo and I...cuz smaller bodies have higher KE when we collide)
5. The remedy (Well...we got Jianping, Wenyang and well...reluctantly Serene as our brothers)
6. Where is the love? (I tot we were suppose to be sharing the love? Well...thanks to the police..we can't do that anymore)
7. Don't phunk with my heart! (Yes..pls don't!!)
8. Killing me softly (Pls pls! Let the exams be over soon..don't kill me softly, kill me quick!)
9. Qing Tian (But its raining everyday!)
10. Wake me up when september ends! (shit...I tot..you are suppose to wake me up in dec? Now I gotta take my CAs!!!)

Right..thats the top 10 hits..but well..its all crap...so 'Its simply the best' of what I can think of...Thats it for all..Gd luck..Sutras..here I come!!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Of Skanks and Reservoirs

Yeah man all 3 brudders are finally "legal" haha...... and i also realised today morning that during Leo's bdae party i slept with him.... and during Xy's party i slept with xy also... man i'm such a skank=p
Of cos saying that prob just made 2 girls very jealous haha...

Well now that we're all 21 the 3 of us should have an RA movie outing after the CAs man.....

Lol went jogging along a new route today.... was reading the papers today morning when i realised that u can now actually run from pasir ris park all the way to ECP!! Of cos the distance is another BIG factor haha....

Thinking that i needed to detox after drinking with an ah neh last night(Tip:Never challege an ah neh to drinking..... he will thrash u upside down=p) i decided to try running to bedok reservoir....

Staying at pasir ris, ive always enjoyed running along pasir ris beach.... but today when i ran to bedok reservoir.... i was like **** ****!!!Bedok Reservoir is damn chio!!! Its like 10 times better then the beach and here why...

1) The water in the reservoir is a damn gorgeous blue... and the water is clear... which is like leagues away from the green murky seawater..

2) The sea at pasir ris beach is marred by loud smoky ships and barges...... but the only thing on the reservoir are colourful buoys floating calmly in the crystal clear water....

3) Bedok reservoir has like twice as many chiobus jogging there haha.....

The next time im go there im gonna bring my camera to take pictures of the sunset(yes the sunset.... not the other stuff haha)cos its damn nice.....
16days to CAs!! Hold on man peeps...... as leo says better start finding a tree liao....(and i dont mean for dancing around...)

Tuck Som Bong are all 21 at last!

Wow! 21 years in the blink of an eye. It may sound long to most of you people (ok, its darn long la..when u are going thru the bad and sad moments), it just seems like yesterday that I have taken my PSLE, O Levels, A Levels, and gone thru army. Its damm sad, that, our life are marked by the major exams that we take and not the major events that we go thru in our life.

We celebrated Bong's bday at his residence yesterday! Now, all of us are legal cept for the 2 other younger contributors in our blog..so sad..its alright man..all of you are still members of the old man's association..but you guys haven't qualify for the golden memebership...so just join the 'waiting to grow old' scheme.

Ok...I'm typing this on my new laptop..haha..just bear with the crap..anyway..its a gd thing to celebrate! WOO!! Enjoy yourselves and brace yourself for impact on the 29...if you can't quickly find a bodhi tree and study the sutras of physio, anat and biochem!!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

November rain....

Well was waiting for my laundry to finish so i tot i might burn some time by posting something....
Man it's been raining cats and dogs every evening for the past few days.... and what's more it always seems to start raining whenever i'm in the middle of a run.... wah sianz....

Seems like the CAs is really stressing everyone out man.... esp my brudders... ok lah understood lah... 2 and a 1/2 years of inertia is not easy to overcome man...
Hold on dudes.... after this we can all go Coocoub(is that how u spell it??) in december and chillax....

Lol was chatting wif my friend on MSN today when he asked me "Is it unethical to like another girl when you already like some girl?"

Well i guess if it's one sided only.... then i don't see any problem.... i mean it's not exactly healthy to be attracted to some girl forever if she's not interested in you...

Got reminded of this book while chatting wif xy last week... it's one of the lesser known books by the famous Mark Twain.... basically it talks about the nature of man and what motivates him.... it's a pretty interesting philosophy book.... if you're into that sort of thing...

Anyway i found a free online version of the book.....
http://mark-twain.classic-literature.co.uk/what-is-man-and-other-essays-of-mark-twain/

So if you're interested enuff and u've got the time u can browse thru it....

Lol if you guys have the chance you can try the new coke lime... it's actually not bad.... much better then the coke with lemon in my opinion anyway.....
And another thing... you know the ritter sport chocolate.... the marzipan flavour is actually coconut.... yah so if u're not a big fan of coconut in chocolate u can avoid this one....

Yeah xy's bdae party this sat... muahaha that means another chance for me to satisfy my voyeuristic tendencies... haha.......

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Apologies!

Apologies to all that spend lots of time wondering why our dear Som didn't post anything for the last 2 weeks. Its not because I'm lazy, its not because I'm running out time, its not because I can't sit still on the chair due to a anal abcess. Its because my storage Harddisk died, and well, because of that, mine became a floppy disk too....hai... Basically, I turned on the computer one day and it could not be detected anymore. I guess its the doing of somebody dear at home...because I turned on my computer one day to find out that my Java no longer works...Sheesh...never mind..shall not dwell on it anymore..Shall format the comp one day....I learnt the hard way that backing up your data is important...

Well, to answer to my dear bro Jianping's taunting online...its not because I'm mugging hard la..like what I said in my first post when we started our blog wars...its he game enough to fight this WAR?? I must say my promotion has given me new found freedom...the next time you can win me is when you get a civillian promotion to FATHER! Now we are all just Individuals la....Why so kan cheong? In war, never make haste....take your time to plan..Looks like you're not wise enough...go to the Mandai Ammo Dump and hide in the cave to learn to be wiser la..if not..can look for any tree..cuz I don't think the Bodhi tree exists anymore....ah...if not..just go sit at ur house and look up the sky and see the world go by and think you can take over the world anytime....take note of the word...THINK...

Sunday, November 06, 2005

BLOG WARS (continued)
Ah~Pek Speaks Out On Feminism... And Leonard!

Wah lau si buay sian now... Damn notes pah buay si siah. So demoralised trying to overcome backlog, think I'll relief stress sniping at my bro, or at anything and everything for that matter. =P

With regards to giving birth, it depends on the gynae lol... Post-op C-section can literally give the poor mum a sore butt, if the surgeon lacked the technical skills for the job. That said, I don't envy the 9 months women have to go through with morning sickness, painful contractions, etc... AND I don't envy the husbands who have to suffer the emotional aspect of the whole ordeal.

Girls and supporters of the feminist cause please take note, I am NOT being a chauvinist and disqualifying all that your gender endures, but I do contest feminist allegations that it's no sweat for men. If the father is worth his title, he'd undergo an arguably equal amount of emotional trauma compared to the physical trauma the mother goes through (not saying wife 'cause in modern society, pre-marital sex is so widely accepted, if not practised already).

To cite an example, parents' friends recently had an 'accident'. Both are around 50, and for all medical enthusiasts, chances of a normal pregnancy are like 1 in 40 compared to 1 in 2000 when you're below 30. Being Catholics, abortion was out of the question. I do know for a fact the husband was damn scared of the strain such a feat would put on his wife. Ergo, guys suffer because they CARE. Don't forget that ladies. ;)

That said, what's to say about Sir Leo? =P Both camps have been awfully quiet since the initial showdown, but this confrontasi is far from over!! Lau jiao '84-er is surely binding his time with his books waiting until CAs are over before he strikes! Jiao hua siah... *shakes head* Maybe I should follow his lead... Got to head back to my books, been neglecting them for the past week. This boy's been out of AC for a few years, yet the concept of last-minute mugging is still too strong in him. Think I'll only truly panic two weeks before CAs are upon us haha...


Cheers all,
Ah~Pek

Random rambles on a lazy sun afternoon...

Lol if you read the papers today the front page of the lifestyle section is about beauty and talent pagents for kids.... and the kids are like only 7,8 yrs old!
Man i used to think piano lessons and tutions were bad enough but this really has got to take the cake... i mean spending $30 000 to groom your kid.... thats like almost 2yrs worth of med sch fees!!

was accompanying my mom to the Community Centre today.... i was flipping thru their catalogue of courses for fun and i realised that more then 50% of their courses are for kids...

And i'm not talking about normal courses like art and craft, music or tuition. I mean they had ALL KINDS of weird courses man..... stuff you wouldnt even imagine kids would noe about..

They have Yoga for kids, Ballroom dancing for kids, Baking for kids, Cooking for kids(i mean dear god i think the kids aren't even tall enuff to reach the stove), Pilates for kids, Make-up lessons for kids, singing lessons for kids.....
And the age range is like for 6-10 yrs old...... my goodness what happened to the days where sat and sun mornings were for cartoons......

And there's another article in the main section about CPF nominations, which basically states who gets your CPF money when you kick the bucket.... and one of the questions in the FAQ(frequently asked questions) was actually this....

Q:Can i nominate my pet?
A:No an animal doesnt not have any legal status...

Well i love animals too.... but to leave your inheritance to your pet is ermm..... i mean if you had no family or kin wouldn't the money be better off going to charity??

And if you read the 2nd last page of the main section.... there's a section about young people using MSN acronyms (like LOL, ROFL, BRB) in real life.... when talking face to face....

I used to think people saying "Mert" instead of MRT was bad enuff.... but My Goodness! Seems like the younger generation has taken it one step furthur man.... i mean is it that difficult to laugh naturally?? Imagine if everytime Serene wanted to laugh she needed to spell out R-O-F-L letter by letter.... wah damn chor man...

And what's more the 2 girls that they feature in articles must be from RGS....

"Netspeak comes naturally to Jenny Lee and Annabel Tio. The girls, both 16 yr old students at Raffles Girl's School, say all their friends use the lingo as well"

woo so i guess if you step into RGS now it'll be like logging onto MSN....
Serene.... i think you need to go back to RGS and teach them how to laugh naturally man...

Xian zai de nian qing ren arh.... *cough*cough*haiyah......

Saturday, November 05, 2005

What can change the nature of a Man?

lol seems like the blog has been stagnating over the past week..... i think everyone must be like damn stressed from the CAs coming up soon.....

woo i finally found out why im like half gay..... was talking cock wif my mom this week when i found out that when she was carrying me.... she tot that i was going to be a girl!! Apparently only during one of the very late ultrasound scans did she find out that i was a guy....

So like for more then 2/3rds of the pregnency she tot i was gonna be a girl.... in fact she even prepared a female name for me! Since i was gonna be born in april my english name would be April.... and my chinese name was gonna be Wenshan.... so if i was a girl i would have been.......... April Loh Wenshan..... *shuddders*

Haha not that i have anything against the fairer sex but man...... i think giving birth is damn scary man..... not to mention painful.... i remember reading a book once that said the best analogy for a man to understand giving birth is imagining going to the toilet to pee and pissing out a sofa..... ouch..... I mean i love kids but man.... oh well thank goodness for painless C-sections nowadays...haha.....

(Note: well thx to Serene i now noe that post op c-section can be quite pain..... for 3 months! and oh no and im a c-section baby.... must love my mom more now haha...)

But then if i was a girl i wouldn't have to serve NS.... but then again if i didnt go thru NS i wouldnt have learnt all these useful stuff......

Top 10 useful tips i learnt from NS

10)Guys look damn cock in underwear and socks only

9)No matter how much and often u clean a room it will never be spotlessly clean

8)Eating toothpaste supposedly gives u fever

7)Black tape can solve all your problems

6)The best time to get someone to open up to you(eg: so that you can ask him about all his secrets) is at 1-2 am in the morning

5)You can actually use an iron (as in the iron u use for ironing clothes) to cook maggi mee...

4)Guys all moan almost exactly the same way when you shove something up their anal canal...

3)guys can satisfy a man just as well as girls
3)The world is your toilet

2)Talking cock is good for health

1)LL Suck Thumb


the gay part of me in action.....

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Happy Days!

Woo....I don't have much to write about but I feel only justified and proper to post this picture on the blog because you guys have seen pictures of the orginal TuckSomBong but not the other 2 new contributors. I'm not saying that by adding the 2 buggers to our blog helped in increase of blog post, but at least they posted some stuff here! Well, the person we are holding apparently post the least, so, if you want him to post, please email him or just tell him in person to post more often or you will just castrate him. Thats it, gotta go sweat it out with my dear books. I'll try to post something substantial next time. Gd DAY!



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